"Don't you feel completely helpless?" Rowena asked as she hastily pulled her hands out of her pockets and ran them through her hair. The petite blonde paced back and forth in the barn.

"Not much to do when you're stuck in a barn in the middle of nowhere," Willow said, sitting down on a bale of hay and patting the space next to her. Rowena sat beside Willow with a sigh as if glad to be off her feet. Willow tried to use the phone again only to close it with a snap.

"Long day," Rowena commented.

"Not over yet," Willow grinned.

"Never is, is it?" Rowena asked.

"What do you mean?"

"The work, the duty, the responsibility," Rowena mused. "Fix one problem and five more pop up."

"Such is the life of a Watcher." Willow shrugged. "It's what we're destined to do. At least according to Giles who is in the process of modifying his 'into every generation' speech to include Watchers."

The two women grinned at one another.

"Yes, but you're different from Giles and me," Rowena said. "He and I were classically trained at the Academy from a young age. At least I was. But you…you just came into it naturally. Something you chose rather than had it chosen for you."

Willow thought a moment. "I suppose it seems that way," she offered. "I chose the Scooby life when I could have gone anywhere and done anything I wanted. I had plenty of opportunity, but at the time I don't think it really was that much of a choice. Giles is right – this is what I was destined for. I think my life was set the moment Buffy Summers sat down next to me at Sunnydale High School."

"Still, you were so young," Rowena said. "You couldn't have truly understood the consequences of your decisions."

Willow chuckled. "Oh, I think all of us understood," she said and then at Rowena's puzzled look, attempted to explain. "One time the three of us – Buffy, Xander and I – were joking around saying how all our relationships were doomed after I fell in love with a robot."

"A robot," Rowena said trying to stifle a chuckle. "Sorry. I-I think Tyrell missed including that in your file."

Willow nodded. "We laughed about it, but I think deep down we knew it was true, especially relationship wise."

"Oh, come now," Rowena scoffed. "All three of you?"

"Yep," Willow nodded. "Buffy's never truly gotten over Angel – the only man in all the world she wants the most, yet can't have. Every other relationship she's had since then has, well, ended disastrously. Xander's thing with Cordelia was doomed from the start, even without my interference and then he found, and lost, Anya, the ex demon. And me…werewolf boyfriend who cheated on me followed by the most wonderful woman in the world who I lost to a crazy bastard with a gun. And let's not forget, of course, Slayer girlfriend who I wished I could love, yet couldn't. Not exactly a great track record for any of us."

"I suppose on the surface it would seem your prediction would prove true, but you're all young yet," Rowena said.

Willow peered curiously at her companion. "Then what about you, old lady?" Willow teased.

"Me and relationships?" Rowena laughed sarcastically. "Doomed even before they begin," she explained.

"No!" Willow joined in the laughter. "Sounds like you've got the Scooby curse too."

"Well, I don't know about that," Rowena said, still chuckling. "Seems like my work has always been more important than anything else. But there was one time…" Rowena broke off, a faint blush rising to her cheeks.

"Oh, come on!" Willow protested, folding her leg under herself so she could face the blonde. "Don't leave me hanging here."

Rowena smiled and her blush deepened. "Well, not long after I graduated from the Academy, I decided I would set myself to the task of finding the perfect mate. I even drew up a list of traits which were most desirable, which could be tolerated and which could not."

"Oh!" Willow said excitedly. "Did you color code your list?"

"Nooo," Rowena laughed, drawing out the word as she thought about it. "But I did keep each list in a separate folder, each titled – must haves, acceptable and no way in hell."

Willow clapped her hands in delight and laughed making Rowena grin even more. "So, what happened?" Willow asked. "Did you find anyone matching your qualifications?"

"I thought I had," Rowena said. "That Christmas I spent the holiday with James Tyrell at his country estate. His son Jordon had leave from the Royal Air Force and joined us. I hadn't seen Jordon for several years and he'd filled out nicely during his service."

"Jordon?" Willow asked, her eyes growing wide. "The same Jordon who drew designs on you with a lit cigarette? That Jordon?"

"Yeah," Rowena admitted. "See what I mean about doomed?"

"So did this list of must haves include meglo-maniacal sociopath on it? 'Cause I have to say, sounds more like a 'no way in hell' trait to me," Willow joked.

"The sociopath part came later." Rowena smiled, then continued. "That Christmas he wasn't like that. He was handsome and charming and attentive and I guess I just wanted to believe that he'd changed, that the service had made a better man out of him. James was delighted, of course, and encouraged Jordon to propose marriage after we'd been dating a few months."

"Did you say yes?" Willow asked, obviously into the story now.

"I told him I needed time," she said. "After the holiday I returned to the Council and he to the service. We'd get together on weekends when he could get leave, and that was fine for me, but he began to pressure me to quit the Council entirely and join him where he was stationed, but I refused."

"Something tells me he didn't like that," Willow noted, her tone dark.

"No," Rowena confirmed. "He felt it only made sense that I quit, because after we were married I wouldn't have time for that Council nonsense anyway. But I think he disliked the Council because it took so much of James's time from him. He didn't want to 'share' his wife as he did his father. Besides that, he never paid any attention that I'd never said yes in the first place. I wasn't looking at starting a family at that moment and I guess he felt I'd be so busy producing babies I wouldn't have time for anything else."

"You don't want children?" Willow asked.

Rowena blinked. "I'd love to have children someday but not to the exclusion of everything else in my life. But that's what Jordon wanted so I broke it off with him. He didn't like that either and kept coming to London, trying to get me to change my mind. He'd gone AWOL so many times the RAF was ready to toss him in the brig, but James used his influence and managed to get him honorably discharged. Before that happened, though, I left for Turkey and that was the last I'd heard of him until he showed up in Cleveland."

"Yep," Willow said, and then nodded. "Definitely Scooby material."

"Get burned like that once and it's not easy putting yourself out there only to get burned again," Rowena said. "Never thought in my case it'd be literal."

"What's the alternative then?" Willow asked, looking at Rowena. "If you don't take the chance of getting burned, you'll spend the rest of your life alone."

"You said yourself that alone doesn't mean lonely, right?" Rowena asked in return.

Willow nodded. "I did, but not at the exclusion of never looking again. If you don't open your eyes and search you might just miss the person that helps make life worthwhile." Willow broke off, looking deep into the blonde's eyes.

"You really are a hopeless romantic." Rowena smiled fondly.

"Maybe," Willow began, "but, it's – it's a wonderful feeling to find someone who finishes your sentences or keeps you warm at night; someone who thinks you still look gorgeous when you've got the flu because they see what's inside more than what's outside. Someone who makes you feel safe no matter if it's in an alley with five vamps or at home, in silence, reading a book. When you find someone like that people think it's a once in a lifetime event but…I had that once with Tara. And even if I can't have her, I want that again. It's rare for lightning to strike twice but I don't think it's impossible. I think the trick is keeping your eyes open."

"For both our sakes I hope that's true," Rowena said, gently squeezing Willow's knee. She rose to her feet, moved to the door and peered through the crack at the pouring rain beyond. "This rain isn't letting up. Anything on the cell phone?"

When Willow didn't answer right away Rowena turned away from the door and saw Willow staring at her. "Willow? You okay?"

"Uh, yeah…sure," Willow said, a deep blush suffusing her face. She blinked her eyes and pulling the phone out of her pocket. "Still no signal."

"I hope Giles is all right," Rowena said, again looking through the door. "Maybe we should make a break for it – run to the house."

"I'm sure he's fine," Willow answered. "I'd rather wait until this storm dies down a little. It's a long stretch from here to there and no matter how fast we run we can't outrun lightning. Let's give it a few more minutes."