Thora Birch as Tracey Hausser, Felicia Day as Vi, Lindsay Felton as Skye, Noriko Fujiwara as Mia, Carly Schroeder as Marsha Parsons and Elijah Wood as Jeff Lindquist
Brad Dourif as Brell
Watchers Council – Hallway – Night
“We still haven’t had much luck, I’m afraid,” Giles said to Willow as they walked side-by-side down the long hallway. “Brell’s book seems to be written in several human languages, and possibly a few demon ones.”
“No Vorsetta Stone I take it?” Willow teased.
“I’m afraid not. There seems to be some Sumerian. I thought perhaps Rowena might look at one passage in particular – she’s good with several languages.”
Willow bit her lip. “Not so much with the Sumerian. But Dawn could. She’s pretty exceptional when it comes to that. Latin too, little weasel,” Willow muttered.
“The Latin so far I recognize,” Giles told her. “It’s the other 598 languages that seem to be a problem,” he added with a slight smile.
Willow patted him on the back. “We’ll get it figured out Giles. So let’s just put it away for the night and try to have fun. It’s the one time of the year the demons lay low. Well, okay, not for us, because something always seems to go wrong, but this year will be different. A new tradition – Halloween without a Holocaust.”
“Technically,” Giles began, “a holocaust is a great destruction resulting in the extensive loss of life, usually by fire. I don’t recall fire ever being an issue in our Halloween misfortunes…but there is always a first time.”
“Hey,” she said, playfully batting his arm. “I’m trying to be optimistic here. Humor me, okay?”
“Funny, those were Andrew’s exact words.”
“Speaking of which, did he leave you your outfit yet?” she asked.
“No, and to be honest, I’m dreading to see what he comes up with. If I have to wear some ridiculous science fiction attire, I’m transferring him to our branch in the Arctic Circle.”
“We don’t have a branch in the Arctic Circle, Giles.”
“If he dresses me up like Captain Kirk, I can assure you that we will have a one-man station there by the end of the week.”
Watchers Council – Slayer Rec Room – Moments Later
Willow walked in and looked around the room. Not finding who she was searching for, she turned to leave. Then she heard Kennedy call out, “Will!”
She turned around and smiled as the Slayer approached. “What’s up?”
“Looking for someone?” Kennedy asked.
“Yeah, Marsha. I wanted to make sure she was staying in tonight and to let her know to come get me if anything comes in over the radio.”
“I haven’t seen her, but she said she was coming to Slayerfest,” Kennedy answered.
“Truth be told, I wish I was going, too. The gods only know what Andrew’s got in store tonight,” she sighed.
Kennedy grinned. “I think you’ll survive…Look, I wanted your opinion on something.”
“What is it?”
Kennedy scratched her eyebrow. “I’m not sure exactly how to ask this but…What’s the story on Rowena?”
Willow opened her mouth slightly, but quickly shrugged her shoulders. “What do you mean?”
Kennedy looked away as she began. “I know you two aren’t together and…” As Kennedy tried to find a way to continue, she missed Willow’s immediate look of surprise, which she quickly suppressed. “Mia and Ro have been spending a lot of time together lately. I’m just…I don’t know…I’m worried.”
“In what way?” Willow asked, confused.
Kennedy appeared apprehensive. “Do you think they’re hooking up?”
Willow gave a short laugh and coughed, trying to disguise her amusement. “I’m sorry. Uh, no, I don’t think so.”
“What makes you so sure? Is it because she’s not gay? I mean, that’s why she never got with you, right?”
Willow opened her mouth and paused a second until she spoke. “I don’t think she defines herself as gay or…Rowena’s just…Rowena. You don’t have to worry about Mia. At least not where Ro’s concerned. A-and don’t get defensive, but it sounds like you might be getting a little…paranoid.”
“I’m not paranoid here,” Kennedy snapped.
Willow immediately held up her hands. “Okay, okay.”
“I’m not,” Kennedy insisted.
“Again, okay,” Willow answered with a slight grin. “Look, it doesn’t really matter what I think, but to answer your question, no. Mia is safe in Ro’s company, and that’s all it is, Ken – company. They like talking to each other from time to time. Rowena’s mentioned that she thinks Mia has a lot of potential. She’s street smart, she’s powerful and she makes sound judgments out in the field. Plus her covert ops training is going well. She’s one of the best sharp shooters we have.”
“Well you just told me more about Mia than she has,” Kennedy said, sounding defeated.
“What do you mean?”
“I ask, but she brushes it off. Like she doesn’t want to talk to me about her secret agent training.”
Willow looked unsure if she should continue and cleared her throat. “Some of the stuff she’s learning…It might not be things you’re prepared to hear. She’s not part of a church choir, ya know?”
“I realize that,” Kennedy answered.
“Then talk to her,” Willow said. “Maybe she thinks you won’t approve if she tells you the truth about what she’s studying. You won’t know, though, until you ask. Now if you don’t mind, I have a date with destiny tonight,” she told Kennedy with a grin. “Wish me luck that I don’t kill Andrew.”
Kennedy smiled as she watched Willow leave the room.
Watchers Council – Robin and Faith’s Apartment – Same Time
Faith stepped out of the bedroom, looking none too pleased. She wore a fancy, strapless black dress. “This…” she said as she motioned her hand down her body, “…is ridiculous.”
“Now, now Mrs. White,” Robin tsked with a finger before adjusting his tie. It complimented his green suit. “None of that. You promised to get into the spirit tonight.”
“I look like Jackie O on acid,” Faith remarked. Robin chuckled. “And who is Mrs. White anyway?” she went on. “Is there a Mr. White somewhere in the world?”
“Obviously you didn’t get your script,” he said. holding up a small stack of papers.
“We have a script now?” Faith asked. She walked over and snatched it from his hand, thumbing through the pages.
Robin only nodded and sat down at his computer. “Let’s see…Mrs. White,” he said as he typed and found an address, reading it out loud. “Does Mrs. White pass the Biblical Tests of a Prophet?”
“What?” Faith asked as she walked over.
“Just seeing what’s on the web for Mrs. White,” Robin answered.
Faith looked over and read the page. “‘The following is Mrs. Burdick’s eyewitness testimony of a prophecy Mrs. White made: During the year 1845 I met Miss Ellen G. Harmon several times at my uncle’s house in South Windham, Maine. The first of these meetings was in the month of May, when I heard her declare that God had revealed to her that Jesus Christ would return to this earth in June, the next month.’ Oh great, Mrs. White is a psycho,” she sighed, then she nodded toward the computer. “Put in Mr. Green.”
Robin began to type again and they looked at the results. “Mr. Green…We’ve got a teacher, a congressman and, of course, the most famous of all, Mr. Green Jeans.”
“Mr. Green Jeans?” Faith asked.
“Yeah, from Captain Kangaroo,” Robin replied.
“Before my time, Ace,” she said, tossing her hands in the air.
Robin paused in consideration. “Yeah, I guess it would be. Thanks for not making me feel old.”
“Anytime,” Faith teased, as she leaned down and gave him a kiss.
“You know, I could just skip all this and go as Mr. Black?” he offered as he shut off the computer.
“That would send Andy in a tizzy. Might be fun to watch,” she said with a grin.
“You could always be Mrs. Black perhaps?” Robin remarked. “The dress already fits the name.”
Faith looked hesitant. “Yeah, well, Mrs. White is probably just misunderstood. Maybe I should just re-invent her.” She pointed behind her, toward the bedroom. “Gotta grab my shoes,” she added quietly.
Robin nodded and watched her walk back to the bedroom. He looked like he might follow for a moment, but then decided to sit down and wait instead.
Watchers Council – Hallway Willow’s Apartment – Moments Later
Rowena walked out first, dressed in a 1950’s style conservative dress with a feathered hat on her head. Willow followed behind, clothed in a blue, skintight dress that hugged her body.
“I can’t believe he’s making us go outside only to come back in,” Rowena sighed as she waved her script.
“Hey, it sounds fun. I took drama when I was in college. I wasn’t that great, but I liked it,” Willow replied.
“Yeah, but you get the hot dress, and I get this goofy hat, not to mention a wig,” Rowena said as she began to try to adjust it.
“Feathers can be very sexy,” Willow said softly in her ear. “Later I’ll show you.”
Rowena cocked her head slightly. “I don’t think that Mr. Peacock would approve of me fraternizing with someone else, Miss Scarlet. Do you?” she replied, coming a hairsbreadth from Willow’s lips.
“I’ll take my chances,” Willow replied, and she closed the distance between their lips.
The sounds of footsteps approached and Rowena shot away from Willow and looked toward the sound, missing Willow’s hurt and frustrated expression. Giles turned the corner, dressed in a three-piece tweed suit. Willow turned to look at him and began to laugh.
“Now there’s a blast from the past,” she chuckled.
“Obviously my days of tweed have yet to be a memory,” he muttered.
Rowena looked confused, and Willow motioned to Giles’s outfit. “When we first met Giles, he was more Oxford wool guy than poly/cotton blend fella. We taught him to loosen up, though.”
Giles gave a heavy sigh. “Yes, but it appears the nightmare has returned.”
“Lemme guess, Professor Plum?” Rowena asked.
Giles nodded and waved his script. “This relaxing night is becoming far more work than I expected. Shall we go and get it over with?”
“Oh,” Willow said, holding up a finger. “You guys go ahead, and I’ll catch up. I forgot to grab my camera.” With this, she slipped back into her apartment.
“Lovely hat. Willow must get a picture of it,” Giles remarked dryly as he and Rowena walked down the hallway.
Watchers Council – Dining Room – Same Time
Andrew darted about the table and rested six boxes in front of the place cards. Then he began to put envelopes in front of each place card. Tracey poked her head inside.
“All set in here?” she asked, still dressed in her cook costume.
“Just about,” he answered.
“Well, hurry up. You’re not even dressed yet, and the dinner guests are growing impatient.”
“Coming, coming,” he sighed as he rushed toward her. “This is gonna be so much fun,” he said excitedly, taking her by both arms before leaving the room.
Tracey just grinned and shook her head.
Watchers Council – Slayer Rec Room – Later that Night
“Bull!” exclaimed Mia the second Dawn placed her card down on the table. Jeff, Kennedy and Skye looked on as Dawn pulled the card back into her hand, along with a small stack already on the table.
From across the room the sounds of swords clanging together could be heard as a group of twenty slayers, scattered amongst the couches and bean bag chairs, stared wide-eyed at the big screen TV. “I can’t believe they’re watching that again.” Kennedy groaned, looking over.
“Come on now, Kennedy. Three twos,” Mia said, placing a card down, “Don’t you know that Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are just…” She put her hands to her chest. “…like so dreamy.”
“I just don’t see it. One three,” Kennedy said, as she placed down two cards. “How could you watch a movie over and over just to see two guys? Now maybe if you watched for, say, Keira Knightley.”
“I hate to burst your bubble, but I don’t think she’s a lesbian,” Jeff said as he placed down a card. “One four.”
“That’s BS!” Mia exclaimed.
“Keira Knightley really is a lesbian?” Skye asked.
“Sorry, no.” Mia reached over and picked up the card Jeff had put down, revealing the ace of hearts. “That’s BS,” she said, tossing it to him. Jeff mumbled something under his breath and took the card back.
Kennedy glanced over at the TV to find Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley kissing. “You know, that’s another problem with movies today. The lesbians are vastly under-represented.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely true. But what about TV?” Skye asked. “Two fives.”
“I think we’re doing all right on that front.” Dawn pulled two cards out of her hand and moved to place them. Mia cleared her throat and shook her head negatively at Dawn, who pulled the cards back with a sigh. “Okay, this isn’t fair. Does she have like a photographic memory or something? She’s killing us here,” Dawn remarked, pointing to Mia.
“You’re really good at this game,” Jeff said. “Ever consider teaching a college course? Lie Detecting 101: The Art of BS.”
“While I’m sure you’d all sign up in a second, I doubt any college would offer that,” Mia said with a laugh.
“You never know,” Dawn said. “Princeton offered a course on how to do a Rubik’s Cube.” This was met with awkward silence until Dawn continued. “What? Am I the only one who watched I Love the 80s?”
“Anyway,” Skye said, changing the subject. “Mia, how did you get so good at this game?”
“Well, I could tell you,” Mia answered, “but it’s top secret.”
“Is it part of your ‘special ops’ training?” Kennedy asked, with liberal use of air quotes.
Mia’s smile vanished as she looked back at Kennedy. “Sorry, but I really shouldn’t be talking about it.”
“Why not?” Kennedy asked, with a bit of hostility in her voice. “Your good friend Rowena tell you to keep it a secret?”
“You know, I think we need more popcorn,” Dawn said, looking down at the nearly-full bowl in front of her.
“Great, I’ll help you get more,” Skye said, getting up.
“Me too. That popcorn can be tricky,” Jeff added, following them away.
“I see you went with the direct approach,” Mia sighed. “Look, Kennedy, I know you’re worried about me, but I need you to understand that if something was wrong or I couldn’t handle it, I wouldn’t be there training. And Ro may not be your favorite person, but she knows what she’s doing. So can you please trust me when I say that everything’s okay?”
Kennedy paused, then said, “I’m just worried that Ro…”
“I’m not Willow. I want to be with you, not her.” Upon seeing Kennedy smile, Mia continued. “And maybe Keira Knightley,” she admitted playfully. “But she never returns my phone calls.”
“Yeah, some celebrities can be really shallow that way,” Kennedy said, leaning in for a deep kiss.
Watchers Council – Lobby – Same Time
A loud rapping sounded at the front door. Andrew, dressed in his butler costume, shuffled across the floor to quickly answer it. Upon swinging the door open, he found Xander standing there dressed in a military costume.
“Ah,” he said formally. “How good of you to join us.”
Xander pushed his way inside. “It’s bad enough I had to stand outside like an idiot. It’s raining cats and dogs out there, Andrew,” he said, pushing his way past Andrew before shaking off his coat.
“You have to stay in character,” Andrew whined. “Now…may I take your coat, sir?”
Xander tossed him the wet garment and pointed to the dining room. “Everyone’s in there, I’m assuming?”
“Yes, sir, right this way,” Andrew said, leading him toward the room.
Watchers Council – Kitchen – Same Time
From the darkness of the kitchen, Marsha watched the storm outside for a moment before she pulled out the bag that she’d loaded into the caldron. She opened it and inhaled it, giving a nod of approval. With that, she set down a book, then went to the refrigerator and pulled out a gallon container of clear liquid. As she poured the liquid inside the caldron, she opened the book and began to read just above her breath.
Vi walked in and looked over at Marsha. “Whatcha doing?” she asked.
Marsha smiled. “Making the watchers’s event more fun,” she answered.
End of Act One