act 3


 

 

Fade In:
Int.
Watchers Council – Lobby Waiting Area – Later
that Morning

“Look, Norman, I’m sorry I caused you any trouble.”

“Aw, don’t worry about it,” Norman waved Lorinda off. “Shannon’s okay. She’ll get over it. You’ll see when she gets here.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, well, I know her real well, and I do think so,” he replied, irritated. “So forget it. Okay?”

Lorinda blinked and looked away, her face red. Norman saw her embarrassment and looked down, shamefaced, at the floor.

“Uh…” he began awkwardly. “Uh, hey…” he said more brightly, “take a look at this. I finished it up just a little while ago.” He began to rummage through his book bag, struggling with the vinyl portfolio as it seemed to be stuck on something. “It got a little crinkled, sorry. I was working on it outside, and the wind got it. I had to chase it halfway across the field…”

Norman finally wrestled the portfolio from the bag and opened it, turning to the charcoal drawing of Lorinda. His eyes went wide at the sight. “Hey! What the –?”

Lorinda stood, eyes flashing angrily at the drawing.

“Is that funny?” she demanded. “Huh? Is it funny?” Her voice broke a little.

Norman looked up at the strangled sound. “Lorinda, I-I don’t know how it got like this! I…this isn’t how I left it!”

“Yeah. Right!” she said, choking back an angry sob. “I thought you were being nice. I thought maybe you were okay,” she said bitterly. “But now I get how it is.”

“No, you don’t!” Norman said. “I didn’t do this!”

“Well if you didn’t, then who –? Oh. Oh right. Shaaaaaannie.”

“Uh-uh, no way. Shannon would never do anything like this, no matter whose picture it was. You oughta know better.”

“Maybe you ought to, Norman. Maybe Shannon did do it. Who else was hanging around you?”

“I don’t…know…”

Norman picked up the obliterated charcoal drawing of Lorinda. It was completely smeared with heavy black lines that had been raked across it in all directions, as if drawn in a rage.

“Okay, I’m here,” called Shannon’s voice from the lobby entrance. Norman and Lorinda looked up. “So I guess we’re calling a truce. Huh?” Shannon said, arms crossed in front of her.

“No,” Lorinda said sternly. “There is no truce. You two can have each other!” She turned and stormed out of the lobby and into the hallway, not bringing her hand up to wipe her eyes until she was out of sight.

“What the hell was that all about?” Shannon said blandly. “You said we should meet and make nice. Guess that proves what I’ve been saying about her all along.”

Norman made no reply, instead just staring at Shannon. The silence continued for a few seconds before she turned and looked at him.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Shannon asked. “You’re not actually falling for that act of hers, are –? Norm? Norm, what’s the matter?”

“Look.” He held up the picture of Lorinda for Shannon to see.

Shannon blinked in surprise at the damaged artwork. “Wow,” she said. Then she smirked. “Could’na done better myself. I’d call that a real masterpie –”

“Shannon! How did this happen?”

“You’re the artist, you tell me.”

“Shan…I don’t know…I put a perfect drawing –”

“If you do say so yourself…”

“–away in my portfolio, and now it’s wrecked.”

“You don’t think I did it!”

“No! Of course not. But I didn’t do it!”

“Oh no, she wouldn’t!” Shannon said. “Then again, she probably did. “Wrecked her own picture so she could make you think that I did! Norm? Norm, are you listening to…?” Shannon’s voice trailed off as she stepped around Norman to look over his shoulder. “What are you lookin’ at?”

She tilted her head until she could see what he was staring at on the back of the picture.

“C’mon,” she said quickly, grabbing him by the arm.

Norman stumbled as Shannon began to tug him along. “Where are we going?” he asked.

Cut To:
Int.
Willow and Rowena’s Apartment – Living Room – Same Time

With her feet atop a large cushion resting on the coffee table in front of her, Rowena looked mightily content slouching on the downy sofa. Slouched beside her, cowering under a blanket, sat Grace, her eyes fixed on the TV.

“So, what’s Oprah gonna tell us to read this week?” her toneless sarcastic question seemed more labored than usual, designed solely to cut through the silence.

Rowena swallowed hard and pushed a book that rested between her leg and the arm of the couch down into the gap of the sofa.

“Yeah, I know, like we believe what Oprah tells us,” she said, shifting her weight over to the side where the book was hidden. “How…how are you doing?” She turned to her apprentice.

Grace shrugged her shoulders, her eyes still on the TV. “I’m okay, I guess. Disappointed, is all. Suppose I was a mite naive to believe that I could get my mum reinstated. She’s definitely one of the most loathed people around here.”

“You had to try, and from what Robin told me, you put together a strong defense. You made them think, see the situation from different angles. He said he liked the way you put Felix in his place.”

Grace smirked and turned to look at Rowena. “It’s an art.” Her smirk broadened into a smile, but then started to fade. “People have been a little…shifty around me lately. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but I know I’ve made friends, and now some of them are like, I don’t know, cold?”

Rowena sighed. “It’s not always easy being the new girl. But you’ll see, everything will be fine. Tensions and allegiances are running high at the moment. When things have calmed down, the place will be back to normal.”

“Hope so,” Grace replied meekly.

Rowena put her legs to the floor and turned fully to face her. “So, are you ready for the next step? You’ve grown a lot and proven to me that you can handle yourself.”

“Not sure I’m following you, Ro.”

“Grace, I’m promoting you to a full-fledged watcher.”

Grace just stared back at Rowena, her face void of expression. Then, she blurted a dumbfounded “What?”

Rowena grinned at Grace’s shock, which quickly turned to amazed gratitude.

“Ro…thank you…so much, that’s…wow!” Her lit-up face suddenly changed into something a little more smug. “Wait a sec, that means I’m gonna have a slayer. A charge. A person under my command. I’m the boss. This is hella cool! Who’s my slayer?”

Rowena chuckled.

Cut To:
Int.
Watchers Council – Classroom –
Day

“Does anyone need to take a break?” Robin asked, surveying the class. “We’ve been here for quite a while.”

A girl immediately raised her hand. “My older sister says that we get a big room with like fifty TVs and video games and stuff.”

Robin chuckled, “Well, that’s somewhat true. We do strongly encourage our students to take the time to unwind.”

“How do slayers like Faith relax?” the girl asked.

Robin subconsciously licked his lips.

Cut To:
Int.
Watchers Council – Faith and Robin’s Apartment – Night

“Oh god, Ace,” Faith’s voice could be heard sighing, just before her back slammed against the refrigerator.

Robin followed quickly after and devoured Faith’s neck without mercy. Clad only in her bra, jeans and shoes, she used her slayer strength to grab his dress shirt and pull, ripping the buttons from the material. The panting of the two lovers drowned out the sound of the plastic fasteners bouncing off the linoleum.

Robin reached into Faith’s long hair and pulled it back, exposing more of her neck.

“Harder,” she ordered. Robin obeyed, burying his fingers deeper and tugging more forcefully. “Oh yeah.”

Robin’s lips made their way between her cleavage until he pulled back just slightly and looked into Faith’s eyes. “How many tonight, Babe?” he asked.

She gave him a wicked, sexy grin. “Ten. Piles. Of dust,” she replied as she wrapped her leg around his natural one and pulled him closer again.

“Looks like we’re in for a long night.”

Faith chuckled for a single second before pulling Robin’s lips to hers in an ardent kiss.

Cut To:
Int.
Watchers Council – Classroom – Resume

“Mr. Wood?” a brown haired boy called out. “Are you okay?”

Robin blushed, then hastily cleared his throat. “Umm, yes, she likes to exercise. Lots of exercise.” When the students didn’t say anything else, he continued. “Getting back to my point, we certainly encourage our students to take the time to relax. Considering the nature of what we do, however, we prefer that our students find diversions outside of work.”

“Why?” another student asked.

Robin considered this. “We’ve had some problems in the past with a few students…”

Fade to Black

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fade In:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Coven Classroom – Evening

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Andrew?” Jeff asked, with the type of hesitation that could only accompany a very stupid plan. “Maybe we should ask Willow first.”

Andrew walked behind him, arms loaded with red and brown candles. “You have much to learn, my young padawan. We found the spell in Loso’s Compendium, right?” Jeff nodded. “And that was in the library where anyone could take it out, right?” He nodded again. “So that means we’re fine. Willow wouldn’t put it there if it wasn’t safe.”

“Famous last words,” Jeff sighed, as Andrew placed the candles in a wide circle. He tossed Jeff a lighter and sat down in the circle, book open at his feet.

“It’s all in Latin?” Jeff asked as he lit the candles.

Andrew flipped through a few pages of text. “Yeah, but Dawn’s been helping me with my pronunciation. I’m going to call upon the goddess Dione and ask her a question.”

“Two words. Ouija board. What are you going to ask her, anyway?”

Andrew did not answer, instead closing his eyes in order to begin his Latin recitation. Jeff took a step back and sat in one of the classroom’s chairs. The chanting went on for several minutes, causing the candles’ flames to flicker and stretch several inches above their wicks. A slow wind began to blow through the room, though no windows or doors were open. Jeff squirmed uncomfortably in his chair.

With his eyes still closed, Andrew spoke, “Dione, I implore you.” The wind picked up as a large smoky silhouette appeared in the air in front of Andrew.

“Andrew?” Jeff pleaded as he backed away from his desk. “I don’t like this!”

Andrew ignored him and continued. “Dione, please, grant me the answers I seek.”

The floating visage solidified into a clearly female form. She closed in on Andrew.

Andrew!” Jeff screamed. “Open your eyes!”

He did, and then looked up at the looming demi-goddess. “Dione?” He paused for effect. “Will Tracey go out with me?”

In an instant, the wind was gone, and the candles’ flames snuffed out. With a piercing shriek, Dione dissipated into a fog of black smoke, leaving Jeff coughing as he ran to Andrew’s side.

That’s what you wanted to ask her?”

Andrew had a funny smile on his face.

Jeff continued, “Well, did you get an answer?”

Andrew considered his question for a moment, until a look of recognition crossed his face. “Yes. She will.”

Jeff shook his head and stood up. “I’m not helping you clean up.”

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Dining Hall – Morning

Carrying a tray piled high with French toast and bacon, Jeff wandered through the dining hall, looking for somewhere to sit. He spotted Dawn alone reading at a table near the back of the crowded room. He quickly moved over and took a seat across from her.

“Hey,” he said, as he grabbed his fork and dug in.

Dawn looked up from her book and watched as he shoveled French toast into his mouth. “Charming,” she said dryly, before turning her attention back to her reading.

Jeff shot her a confused look, but didn’t slow down his eating.

“I’m telling you, it’s weird,” Willow said, as she approached with Faith and Robin. The trio dropped their breakfast trays at the opposite end of Jeff and Dawn’s table and sat down. “Books don’t just disappear.”

“What about that book you got in that occult shop in Lansing?” Faith asked as she popped a tater tot into her mouth.

“That doesn’t count,” Willow replied, opening her yogurt container. “The first page detailed how to make the book invisible. How much sense does that make?”

“You ever find it?” Robin asked with an amused expression.

“Yeah,” Willow sighed. “Under the back seat of my car. I still haven’t figured out how to read it though.” She stirred her breakfast. “Anyway, I just can’t figure it out. I know it didn’t walk away.” She paused. “At least, I think it didn’t walk away.”

“Where’s the last place you saw it?” Robin asked.

“The library,” Willow replied. “I was cross-referencing. I checked the stacks, but it wasn’t there, thank Goddess. It’s all advanced magic. I don’t want any students near it.”

“Well, I can ask my girls if they’ve seen it,” Faith offered. “What’s it called again?”

Loso’s Compendium.”

Jeff choked on his French toast, causing everyone to look over. He sputtered for a moment, trying to clear his windpipe.

Dawn looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

Jeff nodded, his face flushed. “F-F-Fine.”

Faith scooted over and gave him a few pats on the back. “Might want to try chewing your food. I’ve heard that helps.”

“T-T-Thanks,” he said quickly, before standing up. He grabbed his tray and headed for the kitchen.

Faith and Willow exchanged a confused look.

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Kitchen – Moments Later

Jeff, now trayless, entered the kitchen and scanned the room for his friend. “Andrew? Are you in here?”

The person in question stuck his head out of the pantry and spotted Jeff. “There is a thief among us!” He disappeared back into the storage area, but continued talking. “Someone’s been stealing food. I know I ordered a few extra boxes of those oatmeal raisin cookies that I put out in the afternoon, but I can’t find them.” His tone bordered on paranoia.

Andrew moved to a large storage freezer. “And I definitely had a few packs of those little frozen pizza bagels.”

Jeff ignored him. “We’ve got a problem. Loso’s Compendium wasn’t supposed to be in the library. Willow’s looking for it.”

Andrew closed the freezer. “I put it back this morning. I’ll tell her I saw it in the library.” He looked back at the freezer. “I should get locks.”

“I think you’re failing to see the problem here,” Jeff interjected. “We did a spell with that book.”

“And it went fine.” Andrew replied. He exited the pantry and headed out of the kitchen.

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Dining Hall –
Same Time

Andrew moved to the nearest empty table and began collecting used trays. Jeff trailed behind him.

“And what if it didn’t go fine?” Jeff countered. “We should go to Willow and tell her what we did.”

Andrew moved to the next table. “There’s no need. What could have gone wrong?”

At a nearby table a young watcher was shuffling through the Plain Dealer’s sports section. “Anyone know the score of the Blue Jackets game last night?” he asked.

Andrew was quick to respond. “They won three to two. Vyborny put it through the goalie’s legs on a power play with twenty-six seconds left in the third period. That puts them in third place in the Central.”

Jeff could only stare. “How did you know all that? Did you watch the game?”

Andrew shook his head in the negative. “What’s a power play?”

“Don’t you know?”

“Nope,” Andrew replied. “It’s weird. Stuff’s been popping into my head all day. Like this morning, I just knew that Faith was going to ask for tater tots, so I made them, even though I usually save them for Saturdays. Or how, right now, I know that when you were five, your mom made you take ballet classes for two weeks until you tore your leotard and screamed until she let you quit.” He paused at Jeff’s horrified look. “Wow, those little girls were really mean.”

“I’ve got to go.” Jeff said. He headed for the door.

“Wait,” Andrew grabbed his arm. “Do you know what this means? I must know everything.” He paused to think. “I’m going to go buy lottery tickets.”

Heading for the exit, Andrew bumped into Faith, who was speaking with Giles by the door. “Sorry Elizabeth,” he said without stopping.

“Eliza –?” the befuddled slayer repeated at Andrew’s retreating form. “What?”

“Your middle name?” Giles suggested.

Faith nodded her head. “Yeah, but I never told him.”

Giles grinned. “I always liked the name Elizabeth.”

“It’s also B’s name too, isn’t it? Buffy is a nickname for Elizabeth, right?” Faith asked.

“You’re correct that some women named Elizabeth go by Buffy. But, no, in this case her given name actually is Buffy. Buffy Anne, to be precise.”

Faith paused, an incredulous look on her face. “Joyce actually named her kid Buffy.”

Giles shrugged and nodded at the same time.

“Umm,” she added, making an intrigued noise. “Ya learn sumthin’ new everyday, I guess.”

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Library – Afternoon (Flashback)

Jeff moved through the stacks like a man on a mission – a mission to find a book, in a library. His fingers crept from one volume to the next in search of Loso’s Compendium. He was focused, in the zone. Nothing could distract him from…

“Jeff?”

He jumped back in fright, colliding with the stack behind him. Several books fell from the shelf and landed on the floor. Jeff looked up to see Dawn’s face peeking through the shelf.

“Sorry,” she said, though the grin on her face seemed to imply otherwise. Rounding the stack, she extended a hand to help him up. They picked up the fallen books and replaced them on the shelf. “So, now that I scared you, I should probably at least help you find what you’re looking for.”

“No thanks,” Jeff replied a little too quickly. Off Dawn’s frown, he amended, “Sorry. This is supposed to be a solo project. Willow’s rules.” He shrugged apologetically. “Thanks, okay?”

Dawn nodded, though her smile had yet to return. “Hey, have you seen Andrew? I couldn’t find him before.”

Jeff shook his head and avoided eye contact. “I think he went out.”

Dawn laughed. “He’s probably off causing trouble. Well, I’ll see you later.” She headed off.

“Yeah,” Jeff said under his breath. “Trouble…”

Cut To:
Ext.
Bus Stop – Same Time
l

Andrew sat inside a covered bus stop, a pen in one hand and a half completed Sunday New York Times Crossword puzzle book in the other. He wrote in an answer and spoke to the petrified gi-clad ten-year-old boy sitting next to him. “So that’s why necrotizing fasciitis is so dangerous. You know once it gets inside, you’re in trouble.” A bus pulled up. “And it’s literally everywhere. There’s probably some on this bench right now.”

The kid jumped up and ran out to the waiting bus.

“Avoid sharp objects!” Andrew called after the boy.

At the end of the bench, an elderly woman eyed Andrew curiously. He looked over and shook his head.

“No, I’m not a doctor,” Andrew said, answering the unasked question. He filled in another answer on his puzzle and continued. “And I remind you of Neil Patrick Harris.” Off the woman’s confused look, he clarified, “Doogie Howser.”

Andrew stood up. “Well, I should be going. Lots to do.”

Fade To:
Series of Shot
s

– Andrew sitting in a toy store, rotating the sides of a Rubik’s Cube.

– Andrew finishing the puzzle and then stacking it on a pile of already completed cubes.

– Andrew instantly beginning another.

Fade To:
Series of Shots

– Andrew performing magic tricks, of the non-magical variety, on the street for a group of onlookers.

– The crowd applauding as he makes a silver dollar disappear and then reappear in his palm.

Fade To:
Series of Shots

– Andrew standing behind the bar of a nightclub, mixing drinks like a pro.

– Andrew spinning a bottle of Grey Goose behind his back before making a vodka tonic.

– Andrew adding a lime and handing off the drink to a happy customer.

Fade To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Dining Hall –
Night

The clock read midnight when Andrew pushed open the door to the dining hall and stepped inside. He removed his jacket and tossed it on an empty chair. From just behind him, a few whispers, followed by a loud “shhh,” could be heard. Flipping on the lights, he revealed the room’s late-night occupants.

Faith, Vi, Lori, Heli and about eight other guilty-looking slayers sat around a nearby table, enjoying a spread of oatmeal raisin cookies and microwavable pizza bagels.

Andrew’s brow furrowed. “I should have known.”

“I guess the jig is up.” Faith kicked out a chair for him. “Have a cookie.”

Andrew took the seat but snatched a pizza bagel instead. He leaned back in his chair and asked, “So, what did I miss?”

“We were just having a little Q and A session,” Lori responded. “And it’s Vi’s turn.”

“Rghht,” Vi replied through a mouthful of cookie. She chewed, swallowed, and spoke. “Okay. If you were an animal, what kind would you be?”

“Unicorn,” Andrew said quickly, as he picked a mini pepperoni off his bagel. When no one responded, he looked up to see all twelve slayers staring at him. “What? You never specified real or fictional.”

“But a unicorn?” Faith interjected. “Actually, you know what? It makes sense.”

Andrew shrugged. “You can’t choose your animal. Here,” he said, looking around the crowd and pointing to Lori. “Albino wood mouse.” Vi was next. “Polecat.” Then Heli. “Sea turtle.” He started to move on, but stopped and returned his gaze to Heli. “Evil sea turtle.”

Heli sneered, not appreciating his comment.

“What about me?” Faith asked, reaching for a bagel. “Since you’re including made-up animals, how about a T-Rex?”

“Those are real, or were,” Andrew corrected. “But you, you’re a black panther.”

Faith smiled.

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Library – Same Time

Jeff rubbed his eyes and looked down at Loso’s Compendium. He shook his head. “I don’t get it. He did everything right.”

Closing the book, he checked his watch. He stood up.

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Dining Hall – Moments Later

Jeff pushed open the door and barely missed stepping on a small black panther that was chasing a rodent across the dining room linoleum. He watched as the pair disappeared into the kitchen. Thoroughly confused, Jeff looked up. His eyes widened.

The dining room looked like a petting zoo. Along the far wall, a white doe was grazing on the potted plants, while a large, light-shelled turtle was crawling under a table. Near the window, a walrus was basking in the light of a hanging television that was currently broadcasting a late-night talk show. Adjacent, nestled in a colorful striped hat, was a small, reddish-brown ferret, sleeping soundly amidst the chaos. In addition, an otter, a clownfish in a tank, and several species of tropical birds inhabited the room.

“You should be careful,” Andrew called from the center of the room. He was standing next to an empty table. The adjacent chairs had all been pushed away or knocked to the ground. “You almost stepped on Faith.”

“Faith?” Jeff was completely flabbergasted. “The cat?”

Andrew nodded. “Don’t worry. She won’t eat Lori.”

Jeff took a moment to digest his friend’s statement. He stepped forward. “Andrew, what happened here?”

“I turned them into animals.” Andrew shook his head. “They were talking, and there’s so much in my head.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Do you ever get the feeling that none of us are really real and that we’re just figments of someone’s imagination? Like our lives are nothing more than a movie or a TV show that someone’s watching?”

“Like The Truman Show?” Jeff asked.

“Exactly,” Andrew whispered in a paranoid hiss.

Jeff stood in silence, clearly at a loss for words.

“Not to sound crazy, but they are watching us! Right now!” Andrew continued, with the type of conviction that could only accompany extreme paranoia.

“The animals?” Jeff whispered, looking around.

“The fans!” Andrew said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And, I think, a bunch of people.” He waved his arms in the air, as if to conjure up a better explanation, and pointed up at the closest wall. “Them! They’re all right there!”

Jeff looked up at the white concrete wall, where nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all. It was a standard partition, in a typical room that was in no way being watched. To reiterate: Perfectly. Normal.

Jeff frowned at his friend. “I’m sorry, Andrew, but I’ve got to do it.”

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council
– Willow’s Former Apartment – Same Time

A shrill ring coming from Willow’s bedside table caused the redheaded witch to jump. She blinked and looked around for the source of the noise. Her cell rang again, and she quickly grabbed it. “This better be good.” Her tone was far from accommodating.

She listened for a second and then sat up quickly. “He did what?”

The voice on the other end of the phone spoke animatedly.

“Wait, slow down.” She listened some more and then sighed. “I’ll be right there.” Willow hung up the phone and slipped out of bed.

“What’s going on?” mumbled the groggy, unrecognizable female voice of the woman currently sharing Willow’s bed.

Willow looked over as she slid on a pair of jeans. “Nothing to worry about. Go back to sleep.”

Cut To:
Int.
Former Watchers Council – Dining Hall – Moments Later

Loso’s Compendium in hand, Jeff led Willow into the dining room. The scene remained unchanged, save for Andrew’s new position underneath one of the tables. Every few seconds, he would peek out and gaze upon his surroundings.

Willow sighed and took the book from Jeff. “This is why you run all spells by me first. Andrew summoned Diane, didn’t he?”

“Diane? You mean Dione?” Jeff asked.

“Okay, now this makes sense. He said her name wrong.” Willow opened the book. “In other words, he pissed her off.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Willow agreed. Upon finding the correct page, she began a Latin chant. After a minute she spoke, “Diane, I implore you.”

A wisp of smoke appeared before Willow and began to take shape.

“Undo what you have done,” Willow continued as the smoke became a woman. “Release the boy. Please.”

The demi-goddess smiled. “Willow.” She looked at Jeff. “Is this a student of yours?”

“They both are.” Willow looked from Jeff to Andrew, who was now knitting an imaginary sweater. “Could you please take this back? They won’t bother you again. I promise.”

“They have insulted me!”

“I know,” Willow replied sincerely.

“They don’t deserve the title of witch.”

“I know,” she repeated in the same tone.

“They didn’t say my name correctly,” the goddess replied in a whine, sounding more hurt now than angry.

“Well, technically it was Andrew –” Jeff started to argue, before Willow slapped her hand across his mouth, keeping it closed.

“You wanna join them?” she asked through clenched teeth to Jeff. “Shut up.” She then turned to Diane. “I apologize wholeheartedly, my goddess,” Willow told her. “A-A-And you have my word that they will never call on you unless the need is dire, a-and if they do, it will be done correctly. I swear.” Willow quickly elbowed Jeff in the side, making him emit an “umph”-sounding noise.

“Uh, yes Diane…dire needs only,” he agreed.

The demi-goddess looked as if she was considering it for a moment. “Very well,” she said finally. The smoke began to dissipate. “Keep better track of your students.” Her words became an echo as she disappeared completely, and Willow released a sigh.

In a flash, the animals vanished, leaving behind a dozen confused – and completely naked – slayers. Faith looked down to see herself lying on top of Lori, her hand above her held like a claw. The dark haired slayer shot Willow a questioning look, to which the redheaded witch mouthed, “I’ll explain later.”

Faith stood up in the center of the room, apparently quite comfortable in her state of undress, while the other slayers seemed to look for someplace to hide.

Jeff looked at the scene with his jaw hanging open.

“It’s not polite to drool,” Willow told him.

“Huh?” he asked. Willow put two fingers under his chin and pushed it closed. “Oh!” he said, before trying to avert his eyes.

Andrew, who was still under the table, looked more confused than anyone else. He stuck his head out, finding Willow and Jeff. “Oh, hey guys.” He climbed to his feet. “What’s going…on?” His response was delayed as he looked at the naked women surrounding him.

Willow crossed her arms. “You had a little accident. Go to the linen closet and bring twelve sheets. I suggest you be quick about it, too, since you’ve got a dozen cold and annoyed girls with superpowers looking rather unhappy with you.” Her tone left no room for negotiation.

Andrew, picking up on her dour mood, replied with a simple nod of his head. Quickly, he scooted out from under the table and broke into a run.

Willow let out a deep breath. She turned to Jeff. “Next time, don’t wait so long to come find me.”

Jeff nodded apologetically. “Uh, Willow? What Andrew said, about this place not being real? Do you think that Diane was just messing with him? Or something else…” He let the sentence trail off.

“I’m sure she was just trying to teach him a lesson.” Willow paused. “Probably.”

They both looked at the “fourth wall,” as if expecting to find someone staring back at them.

Cut To:
Int.
Watchers Council – Classroom – Resume

Most of the class stared at the right wall of the classroom.

Robin cleared his throat to regain their attention. When they looked over, he resumed speaking. “The skills that we teach you are not easy. There will be times when you feel overwhelmed. Times when you may think you can’t do this job. What’s important to remember is that we’ve all been where you are, so you should never be afraid to ask for help.”

Fade to Black

 

 

End of Act Three

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